Paradigm Shift

When I married JMN. I told him I hold the responsibility of  all my family. Every couple of months I would lie awake at night crying about that day. Because thats a huge weight in my shoulder. I have never been able it seems to not carry a large responsibility. Im not sure why that is. I was talking to a friend last night 7.23 and she was telling me " you've always had this respectable amount of life to juggle. And somehow you have been able to do it without neglecting yourself."

 I feel like I  have gotten to that point where I am now neglecting myself . I think with my gg in the hospital I have forgotten to take care of myself because everyone expects me to take care of them. Yesterday I got 8-10 calls and 3 text messages from my gma . Not that what she was calling about wasn't important. But she expects me to answer the phone. She expects me to control the room when I am present. She sits back and allows me to. When you are 10 years old its fun to be an " adult", but when you are an adult with all of the responsibilities I have sometimes I just want to run away from it all.

I wonder if I was the screw up of the family if I would be able to escape it all?

My gma is going to have to move in with us. In my deepest of hearts I am okay with that. I pray that it will draw us closer. I pray that I will learn more. I pray she will respect mine an JMNs boundaries On the selfish tip. I pray that we can co exist for decades. I pray that she can raise my child just like I was raised. I see/ hear what goes on in those daycares and I don't want any part of it.
I pray peace, protection, kind words. and understanding hearts for my family. And Ill appreciate it if my fellow creepers could pray those same prayers too.