Loving myself

Despite the cellulite, the rolls and the fact that I can not see over my boobs I love me. I have never practiced self hating behavior and I thank God because I imagine how destroying that could be to your self confidence. Yes I would love to lose a lb. or a 100 and be healthy but sometimes you have to hold your head and high and say ( insert your name ) you are beautiful.

Normally I would say all of that without the makeup without the straight hair and probably with a t-shirt or a mu mu on and my hair a curly mess. And you know why? JMN loves me . unconditionally.. you jealous huh? I know I know everyone isn't lucky.

 

After the wedding I was feeling extra cute. ( it probably had to do with the 4 Uv & sprites I had before I left the wedding. And the wondering around Wal-Mart.

But here you go ....

 

Then it all came crashing down the next morning . haha
how do people do this everyday? Oh well it was nice while it lasted.

ULTA

Hey guys!

Enjoy!

Ulta

Vaughn - Holland Wedding

 I was in a wedding a couple weeks ago. One of my good friends Laquita got married . I was one of the bridesmaids. I didn't know anyone previously and I did not have an anxiety attack nor did I say anything completely stupid. Thank GOd!

Let me tell you this wedding had its fair of drama but I am not here to trash talk or speak ill of anyone BUT ( smacks lips like Tamar) HUNTY you find out who are really your friends when you get married. Folks go get real stupid when you get a ring slipped on their hand.  I don't know that it is.

 

The wedding was BEAUTIFUL. The bride was Beautiful. I am pretty sure this is the nicest wedding I have ever attended and been apart of. ( sorry other friends)

I am sorry to report that I do not even have enough pictures to show you guys. I  know I have failed but since I was in the wedding I gave my Nikon to JMN for him to savor the moment and he failed all of us miserably. ( rolls eyes)

 

Here is the little bit I have....

 YASSSS - straight hair and makeup that made me feel like a goddess. ( I have the craziest hair story to tell yall)

 

Here we are!

MOH ,the Beautiful bride,and myself.

 Shout out to the handsome man that walked me down the aisle, payless shoes for the painful shoes wore, Sabryna (beautybybryna (IG) for enhancing God masterpiece , David's Bridal for making something that clinged to my butt the way it did, and my momma and sperm donor for crafting this luscious boootay!

Progress???

I got sweet message from my friend Hoguii today. She was creeping my IG and told me that I look smaller and more tone than this picture I took on IG 19 weeks.

of course I had to inspect it. I would hope in the last 19 weeks I would have done a whole lot more but hey ill take it.
This is me in the gym last week. My plan is to go to the gym 5x a week for 30 minutes . I should be able to commit to it. And if I do I have a reward set in mind. I just have to get to May 1st. And if I fall below 5 I have to push my date back. So currently I am at May 2nd.  I will try to keep you guys in the loop.

cute huh?
#warhawks

Manetabolism : The catch up

 Hey guys! I'm going to take a mini break from my video Manetabolism updates . If you miss the first 2 click here & here .

 This is a picture of me from August. As you can tell my fro was getting really tall and if I would have bent my head over you would see all the Carmel in my head. ( great color but there was more dyed than the tips of my bangs which made me look like an early 2000s Eminem.)

 

  

Here is a couple days after September when I went to get my hair trimmed. I came out looking like a little boy. I know I know I am apparently the queen of getting bad hair cuts but let me tell you guys I took this one a whole lot better than the other 2 times I got a little too much cut off. Literally you could not pull a curl from my head. Majority of my caramel was cut out also.

Luckily I had already started taking Manetabolism  .

These two pictures are  from December. Guys this stuff is a miracle. I got a small trim in November to correct the hair cut I received but these vitamins have really kept my hair healthy and you can see that my hair has gotten longer and thicker. I follow Mane choice on instagram and they had an amazing 40% off sale ( which broke their server that's how good their products are) I got a 4 month supply. And I cant even imagine what my hair is going to look like when  I am done with it. I am hoping they will have another sale by that time so I can stock up again.
Check out Man Choice Manetabolism!

Indecisiveness and people who are always Late

These two types of people happen to be my pet peeve. And I think it is magnified due to the people I am constantly around . I have a couple of friends who think time revolves around them . I mean to the extent that they are always late and they are mad that you complain because you should always know they are going to be late ... What kind of mess is that ?

Than I have another friend that literally has to weigh out every option before she commits and even then she isn't 100% on what she picked . Getting her to the car is always a 30-45 process and most of the time you have to almost leave her to get her in the car.

I need people to get with the program of life. 

Mini van vacation

I really do have amazing friends. I mean I see them M-F and on the weekends I miss them. I came up with the brilliant idea of going to Pearl MS to the Outlets of MS. These Outlets have maybe been open for a little under a year. And I love to get a good deal so I thought my friends would love to get some shopping done as well.

I am the only kid-less one in the group so I knew the seating situation would be a little iffy. Haylee has 2 kids but she managed to have her husband watch them for a couple of hours. Laquita has a 5 year old and Chelsey has a now 1 year old that she usually has in tow. Usually my mouth runs without being able to think about all the details so when it came to transporting us I was thinking well we are going to have to take 2 separate vehicles. ( Which totally sucks) BUT Haylee borrowed her moms super cool mini van and all of us were able to fit comfortably.

Pearl is about 2 hours away from us. So we left about 10 am on a Saturday. We got to stop at Whataburger in Vicksburg for Lunch/ Breakfast. Then when we crossed the MS line we had to pullover and snap some pictures.

 M was loving on bby B during the drive.

 

The Outlets of MS were real cute! They had very clean bathrooms.

Stores

 After we shopped til we dropped we went to this restaurant called Georgia Blue.. OMG it was amazing. If you are in Pearl or Hattiesburg please check it out!

Bands will make her dance

Guess what I got guys?
BANDS actually one band. But I have 6 weeks with this bad boy and hopefully I will be able to remember to keep it on. I go back to the Ortho the first week of December. My Ortho said that this band will help correct my alignment situation. When I received my consultation for my braces he stated that to get the best results would be to get my jaw broken to have it realigned. My jaw is very strong.  ( thanks) But after watching the surgery on YouTube ( which was awesome) I decided that I really did not have the time to recover from that. Also I've never had a major surgery and it seems kind of petty to have that done. I'm paying off my braces 6 months early ( woot woot) and I hope it get them off in April.

A lot of my friends have been telling me that bands come at the end of the braces process. To me my teeth still aren't the straightest. When I go get my teeth cleaned in January I am going to ask my dentist what he thinks about me getting a second opinion from another orthodontist . I have paid a lot of money for these suckers so when they are removed I want my teeth to be GOREGOUS. Also I plan on getting my teeth whitened and shaved .

( check out those lips)

Lion football

Its always a good time when you go back to your Alma mater. Every time I step foot back on Ouachita premises I get chills and memories come flooding back.
And its super fun to share theses moments with our nieces and nephews.

 

Dear MOM

Dear momma

Thank you for all the things you've done for me . I don't mean to sound generic but I realize that I did not grow up in the manner that you might have wished I would have .

I had a great childhood. I want you to know as a single parent you really went above and beyond to provide for me. I always had clothes on my back, my hair was combed, you took me to church, we vacationed , you made sure I went to a good school, you made sure I had a normal childhood.

Of course majority of those things I didn't realize weren't normal until I grew up. I realized that some parents don't work and they wait for other people to provide for their children . I realize that some parents don't instill morals, values or even have positive expectations for their children . Parents don't cook meals, help with homework or meet their children's teachers. 

But you did all of that and more.

As a single parent you raised me to be independent, caring , and giving .

Sometimes when I'm mad at you I don't remember all these things . I don't even think I've told you any of this before actually . 

As I got older I began to pick up on some of the hatred that you had for people. I learned that I didn't need anyone and I could/ would be better off on my own. Unfortunately I saw it as I no longer needed you. Because you could no longer provide me with my wants and needs in the current times as compared to my friends and their families .

In high school I needed you more than ever. I don't remember ever being home . I had a car that you paid insurance and gas for and I rode around every night until I decided I no longer wanted to live in your household. I never wanted to disrespect you. I never wanted you to ever think less of me . But I was doing things that I wasn't ready for. Things that I thought made me an adult . And the only person I had to talk and reason about it was myself .

I don't know anyone else who not allowed their 17 year old daughter to move out their house but also financially supported them .  

I went to college . And the distance between us really started . 

When I see you I can't tell you how depressed I get . There are a lot of girls my age that calls their mom their best friend . I happen to not be able to do that. You know nothing about me . I know nothing about you . We seem to be on different planets.

I am realizing that I am soooo broken . Our relationship is broken . I feel incapable of showing or expressing myself to you without tears . Then I feel embarrassed for even crying because I feel as if you would look down on me for doing so.

I so badly need us to be fixed . But I'm not sure if we've gone too long .

You failed to give me the correct view of life, self confidence, and relationships with men..................... I feel like you forgot to give me your key to life. Which I so desperately needed.