Paraguard the check up

30 days after the insertion of my IUD. I called to schedule the checkup. And I'm going to be honest I thought somehow someway one had gotten by and I was pregnant. I didn't have period in 30 days and I was literally peeing every 30 minutes. Can you imagine the terror? I got to the office and they got me back quickly. After a short visit at the scale of death I went into a normal room . The nurse asked me a couple questions and she said okay I need you to go down the hall to the left . I did as I was told but to the left was a dark room and no one was in here and to the right was the 1970s scary operating room.  As I was walking back up to the room a lady came darting out of the nurse station and said hey I'm Kacey are you Alisa? I said yes. She said okay lets go back here and find this baby. ( EXCUSE ME) Oh no that the point of getting this thing there shouldn't be a baby there at all. Then she laughed. I'm thinking do you know something about my uterus that I don't ?

So I get back there and she tells me to pull my shirt up and my skirt and underwear down. The table was madd uncomfortable. She turns the light back off and rubs this clear gel on me. I'm watching the screen to make sure nothing is moving . I've watched enough TV to know what a heartbeat on a sonogram is . Or so I thought. Then Mrs. Nancy comes back there . She is usually in the window and gets my insurance information. No idea why she's back there but she says THERES THAT BABY. I'm like noooo are you kidding me? Kacey says no that's your right ovary. I let out a serious exhale. Mrs. Nancy laughs and pats me on the shoulder and walks out the room.
 SIDE EYE

So after the 20 minutes of playing around on the sonogram she tells me to take my picture and take it back to the room. I didn't even have time to get a picture of it before Dr. Armstrong came in. he got the picture and taped it to my file. He told me everything looks good. The string that is suppose to hang down is in the wrong position but everything about the IUD looks good. He asked if I've had any discomfort but I told him no. I did mention that I did have some discharge that I wasn't happy with but he told me that it should go away soon.

Basically that was it.  Mrs. Nancy was still giddy at check out. But I had a overage so I didn't have to pay anything so her giddiness didn't piss me off.

Sex without condoms, pills, or prayer has been niceeeeee.