What an interesting title . I could take this so many ways but what I am going to speak about today is fostering. I have some friends who foster . They got a call for a newborn and cared for her for 4 months. Out of the blue one day their fostercare worker called and asked for her to be brought to the office because her paternal grandparents will now be the ones caring for her.
After reading that whats the first thing that came to your mind? OMG? oh no? Good for the grandparents? A newborn what was the mother doing? That poor baby? etc?
Did anybody think about my friends who were caring for this child for the first 4 months of her life?
Since fostering I've had a lot of friends who commend me but tell me they just couldn't do it. They couldn't love and care for a child and that child leave their home. Honestly, that was the hold up for JMN. He didn't want to be invested into someone and then they get ripped from his life.
As this happened to my friends I consoled them. I tried to uplift them , and encourage them through this process. I have yet to have a child placed back home. So I don't know how that may feel. And honestly I may never know that feeling because I have a 9 year old and that bond may not be as deep. But one thing I am sure of is that as foster parents we come in at a devastating points in these kids lives. Our job is to make them feel comfortable, console them, teach them, keep them safe, and love them. The problem is some of them may have never witnessed any of those things. So there maybe a battle.
I'm not sure how it's suppose to work when they are returned home. Acoording to the training. We Are suppose to become supports for the family. But how many people do you think want to be friends or rely on the people who cared for their kids while they were deemed " unfit?"
How do you properly grieve for a child whose gone home or been moved? Foster parents and kids both suffer. How do you start again without being a little scorned? bitter? Or even give your all to the next kids. I am unsure.
When I reread my title it sounds a little crazy but really. Why do you fall in love with someone who doesn't belong to you?
" This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters . If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and truth."
- 1 John 3: 16-18
