I talk about a lot of my friends on here. Most recently I spoke about a group of friends that I don't see anymore because I wanted more than just to see them at a party or a bar. But 3 years ago those people were MY people like there was no one else I wanted to go to a birthday party for or go out to dinner, or shake it down at a bar with. These girls were my all. Well Courtney was apart of that group.
Courtney and I became friends our senior year of high school and we were pretty much inseparable. Clearly one of my favorite people in the world. But somewhere along the way I decided to take sides in something I shouldn't have even been apart of. I single handily destroyed our relationship. No if ands or buts about it. And it hurts my soul that I did that to her. I'm sure Courtney is living an amazing life and probably isn't thinking about me one bit but I need to actually put it out in the universe that I recognize that I am horrible person to people and I want to change. I see that I have that I don't need anyone attitude. And I hate it. When you have a genuine friendship with someone for so long you cant help but think how that friendship would be currently and think back to all the fun times we had together.
So Courtney Beck and the interwebs I am so very sorry for being such a horrible person. I have done and said many things that a friend should never say to a friend. Going all the way back to High school. When I look back I thought I was helping you ( mothering you) and you clearly didn't need me to do any of it. I hope you are doing well and I hope you don't hold my horrible acts against me for the rest of our lives.
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