What's been the most interesting is watching CyCy adapt to our world. Learning our schedule, the places we frequent, what we do for rewards, spending time with family and my favorite so far is her meeting my friends. I like to hear what she thinks about them when they leave. So far she is in love with Jasmine and Amy.
A couple weeks ago CyCy said Ms. Alisa do you have friends? Offended I answered yes why? She replied with another question. Do they ever come over? I said yea sometimes. Then she said well I haven't really met your friends. I hear you talk about some but I'm not sure their real. I replied of course their real. Adults don't have imaginary friends.
That conversation really stuck with me. I have some solid friendships and some not so solid friendships. Recently i realized when confronted with the truth people get scarce. I've heard some of my friends talk about it before. Oh wait until you have kids you will see who is really your friend and who isn't. I would laugh and say I have good people around me .
I mentioned to a group of friends that I felt like I hadn't been supported since getting CyCy. Oh boy did the claws come out. I was basically accosted for not broadcasting CyCy to the world. Technically you guys ( my fellow creepers) are the world and I wrote here before I even told some of my family members. I had to have a real discussion with a friend that I've known for almost 4 years. A good friend, but when I said that we literally stopped talking for 2 weeks . I had to ask her to talk with her to figure out why our relationship changed. The only explanation she could give was she wasn't sure if I wanted her to be apart of CyCy's life. Although I was there through not 1 but 2 of her pregnancies. I just can not believe that was even said to me.
Then I was asked by someone else if I was angry or stressed because I hadn't been myself. ( insert wide eyed emoji) Besides the work that I have piling up on my desk, family stress, a flood, being sick for weeks, and just not feeling cared about I am pissed off . Why on earth would I be myself ?
I am experiencing literally a dream that I have had since I was 10 years old. No idea why this was put in my heart at that age but I have a journal that talks about the things I want to do when I am a grown up and I said adopt a little girl with a list of things I wanted to do with her. (Although we arent adopting but close enough.) I thought I was going to be able to share this moment with my family and my closest friends and now the present is showing me otherwise.
We started going to this new church this last month and the pastor was talking about judgement day and what God could possibly say to us once that day has arrived.
Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?
'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME
It really struck me and I do a lot of things that are not like a person who walks with him. And I have got to stop perusing my own agendas and regardless of how things bother me I have to treat others how he would and if that is returned than great and if it is not than just know that I tried .
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